I'm sitting in Mat's livingroom watching the Jays spring training against the Yanks. I am so pumped to be in Toronto for baseball season this summer. We are going to try to make it out to at least 50 games, which should be do-able considering I will be living downtown.
No matter how excited I am about baseball season, graduation is still looming over me.
Spending four years and two summers in Kingston and being told that at the end of the month I have to pack up and ship out, has turned me into my nostalgic self.
Nostalgic Eve first appeared at the end of grade 8.
My father would drive me past Baythorn all summer, just to make me sad. He thought it was hilarious that I could be so attached to a place. Nostaligic Eve returned on my last day at sleepover camp. The summer after that I found myself thinking what I would be doing at different times of the day if I were at camp. 7:45am, morning music; July 24th, colour war!
The last time I became nostalgic to this point was at the end of Highschool. So it is only natural that now at the end of university I start to think everytime I'm in a specific building that it might be my last time there.

The are large differences between the past changes in my life and this one to come. September 2007 will be the first September since I was four years old that I will not attend a school. I won't go to buy new notebooks or wonder who will be in my first class of the day, or what my profs will be like.
I have taken my last grad pictures, participated in my last QFA recruitment. Tomorrow will be my last ninnies, last Ha-wine party and last regular day working at the Market. I may have already had my last row at KRC. Over the next month campus will slowly become deserted as people head home for the summer. The only difference is, I won't be coming back.

Needless to say I'm getting sad, and sentimental. I spent four years making friends, joining clubs, rowing, laughing and learning, and I won't ever forget what Queen's has given me.
So although this might not be my last sentimental rant, I feel that it is one that many can relate to, especially when living out their last days as a university student.

Oh how happy you have made me...

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. Now I know so many are bitter about how this is a holiday invented by Hallmark and all those that love the colour pink, but who cares!
Any holiday with the mandate to spread the love is ok by me.
Why not celebrate friends, family, significant others?
I have only had a boyfriend three valentine's days out of my 21 years of life, and I can honestly say that I have enjoyed each and everyone of those days without a boyfriend.
Dress up in Pink and Red (Clash and be fashionable!)
Buy chocolate, rent sappy movies, go out on the town dancing with your friends.
have a fondu party.
Throw cinnamon hearts at randoms!

Enough said.

I've been applying for jobs like crazy and have three things lined up (By things I mean interviews/tests)
so we shall see how I do with the rest of my resumes circulating in cyberspace.
I bought Mat a wicked awesome gift for Valentine's, and not because it was Valentine's Day, but because I found something I think he will Love. A book about the history of the Montreal Canadiens! It was uber expensive, but he makes me dinner at night, so I think he's worth it ;-)

Many would say I've become my mother in this sense, because she is constantly buying people "chutchcas" without needing an occasion to do so. (Today at work when I said "chutchcas" *clearly the wrong spelling* no one knew what I was talking about, I had to find a plastic pig to explain my term)

Oh, so I have to write a grammer test. Anyone want to explain when to you affect and effect. I always think I know but I'd hate the reason for me not to get a job being this grammatical error.

To affect something and the effect??

We are all a breed of Toxic

This is lovely

"Politicians found to carry toxic chemical soup"

http://news.sympatico.msn.ctv.ca/TopStories/ContentPosting.aspx?feedname=CTV-TOPSTORIES_V2&newsitemid=CTVNews%2f20070103%2ftoxic_politicians_070103&showbyline=True

and in other news, why is everyone leaving me....Save Sandy Cohen!

http://jam.canoe.ca/Television/2007/01/03/3154950-ap.html

I do not back this

And yes, maybe I'm a sap who watches the OC, but I do, and it runs deep. It effects friendships, and I don't like change. Thursday nights will never be the same. No more Thursday night crew.

Boourns.

It's a long way back

Week #3
After much time wasted reading through old episodes of Degrassi: TNG (yes I can use the acronym because I am now a fan) I re-discovered my love for Canadian childrens television.

It has definetely been a long break. I have been home for three weeks in which I have made my way to Westport to visit Mat's family, played too many games of Monopoly and Hide and Seek (which I rocked by cleverly disguising myself as a coatrack) and remembered how much fun it is to be a camp counselor. Mat's nieces and nephews, who are a bundle of energy came to the house for Christmas and it was a marvellous affair.

Week #1 was me at home, going to the gym with my mom, to bowl with Daniel, and watching obsene amounts of America's Next Top Model with Raina and Mat.

Although this post is recounting events in a peculiar order, the entire vacation has been a little peculiar in itself. By this I mean that my last winter break from school, it has forced me to reflect on the last four years of my life and what I have accomplished.

I find that whenever I go home, I tend to spend a lot of time thinking about the past, as this is where it resides. I don't spend much time thinking about highschool in Kingston, as I'm much to preoccupied with school, rowing, the works.
Here I find the peace of mind to think about all that has happened and how I have changed.
Four years ago I did not have bad circulation, or rowing injuries, so besides the physical what has changed. After seeing my highschool friends at what could have been my last Thornhill get-together, I realized that I have lost myself along the way to becoming an adult.
No one can be expected to stay the same over the course of four years, but I feel as though there is no other expression than confusion with how I have changed.
Moving to Toronto in May is going to be a great opportunity to resituate and evaluate the kind of person I want to be, and what changes I need to make for myself, in order to be a happier, healthier and more loving individual.

Don't get me wrong, I am not unhappy with my life, but I feel as though there are parts of me that I left behind when I came to university, that I am not ready to let go of yet.
After being threatened with a nomination for the show "What not to wear", I am ready to bring back the spunk and the funk that I unconsciously pushed away.

On a lighter note, I'm ready to get back to school to rock out my last semester of UNIVERSITY!
And so it begins...

alvin, alvin....ALVINNN!!!

I am in love with the Alvin and the Chipmunks Christmas song.
I think it is great!
Most reading this must think I'm nuts, but there is something about it, that I find absolutely hilarious!

"I still want a hooooolaa-hooop!"

Interesting to note that the original cartoon series came out of this song/Christmas album. My childhood was definitely wrapped up in Alvin and the Chipmunks. I remember dancing around my living room in the country, pretending I was Alvin travelling the world in his Hot Air Balloon. Do you remember that movie? I would always get off the couch when they were in the city where they danced a top the buildings. I don't remember what city, but it was definitely the most appropriate time in the movie to jump all over my mom's furniture.
This makes me think I will be one of those mother's that sings and dances with her children to all of the ridiculous kid movies. I will get them into the classics though, none of this teletubbies, new care bears rubbish.
And we will so be watching The Racoons!
So many complain about the abundance of Christmas carols on the radio, and even though I don't celebrate Christmas, they serve to remind me of the feeling of this time of year.
Like if you heard a carol in July (as many of my friend do, as Jingle Bells usually doesn't leave my head until then) you would automatically think of December. I think the familiarity is comforting.

I've been listening to the radio for the last two day while filling out job applications, and they just pointed out that if you eat while standing up, then the calories don't count.
You have to love holiday denial.

Job searching is actually turning out to be an entertaining endeavour. It is great learning about all of these companies and what they are looking for, and it keeps me hopeful to receive some interesting email.
I already have an interview invitation and a meeting with someone from the distribution industry tomorrow downtown.
I'm excited to head down into the city. I'll make my way over to my favourite corner, maybe take some pictures.
I have been taking photographs of the corner of Queen W and University for over two years now at different times of the year, whenever I get a chance to make it home.
It is definitely the interest in human geography that brings me back, to examine the changes and how people interact with the space at different times of the year.
Back to the drawing board.

"I've made choices I don't regret, but I've got problems and problems and problems"
Barenaked Ladies

I've been at work for the last week, which has been incredibly productive, I almost wish I had more time. I"m coming home on Friday. I haven't been home for more then four days since last winter break. It should be interesting. Especially since I really haven't kept in touch well with anyone at home.
Interesting to note how so many people write, wear or worship symbols, when they have no sense of the historical significance of these things.
The Anarchy A ( which so many pop punk groups have adopted, only to find teenagers writing in on their hands or wearing it on their backpacks in patch format.
Completely going against what the A even stands for.

I'm sure there are other things.
Have to go back to work in an hour. One more semester left of school until graduation. It's amazing how fast time really flies. And there is no confirmed next step, as there always has been with school in my life.
The plus side is I will never have to be stressed about a 15 page paper again, the downside.... I am genuinly going to miss learning.
I love learning, I love going to class and discussing interesting topics, and finding meaning behind what appears to be meaningless, and being critical.
If there is one thing we all come out of university feeling, is that we have the ability to be critical of everything.
So I'm going to work on not losing that.
And critical doesn't neccessarily have to be a bad thing. It is about not accepting what you see at face value, and I think that is important in an age where so much is based on material appearances.

Friends to keep around

After almost surviving cyberculture studies, I decided it was time to dip my feet into a virtual identity (although not really as this is arguably a disembodied experience so to speak)
The "almost" is in reference to the fact that my final paper is due tomorrow and I have yet to begin my first paragraph. Universities are in great need of a new format for final assignments. The best thing is when you start researching a topic, with an original idea in mind, only to realize that someone has already written about your original idea.
Even better is the point when you realize that this idea has been cited in every other article within the discipline, proving that no original idea actually exists.
It makes you question the point of researching such a tired topic in the first place.
But enough about school, because this ramble will only peg me to be another complaining student stuck in the world of higher learning.

I went to the film formal after the first aid formal on Saturday. I always find it amazing how different groups of people can completely change your mood. With First Aid I always find I have a great time, end up having some interesting political conversations, but as soon as the night turns into a drinking fest, I feel out of place. Not that I don't like my drink as much as the next person, but banquet is the only time I actually get out with this group.
I don't feel very in the loop.
Whereas with my friends in film, who I see in class and rarely outside, I feel so comfortable and have a great time. I was at the film social for two hours, and it was 10x better then the four I spent with First Aid. I danced like a lunatic and absolutely loved it, even though the only good song they played all night was some Dance Mix 95 that took me all the way to grade 4.

I guess my point is, that when you find people that you get along with, you should hold onto them, make an effort to keep them in you life. If that is one thing I could do over from my four years here, it would be to stay in closer touch (dirty) with the people I really enjoyed.
Not that it is too late, but in this case, the paper I must write is trumping my social capabilities.

Back to Bed (which I say because inevitably we return to it everynight- the only constant in your life is sleep :-)

Eve