So I was unable to find the clip on-line, so the transcript will have to do.
If you would like a visual, use your imagination.
For the audio, just sing it to the Tune of "JUMP"
or alternatively call me, and I will gladly sing it for you!
[Cheap neon sign reads: TRUMP'S House of Wings. The synth-driven riff from the Pointer Sisters' hit 1984 pop song "Jump (For My Love)" is heard as we pull back and pan down to reveal real estate mogul Donald Trump in a spectacularly awful all-yellow suit and tie. He stands in front of a couple of diners and addresses the camera.]
Donald Trump: Cock-a-doodle-doo, folks. I'm Donald Trump. ... And there's two things in the world I love -- a good deal and a good meal. So when I drove by a defunct Meineke Muffler Shop in Englewood, New Jersey ... I knew what I hadda do! I hadda buy it on the cheap and convert it into a restaurant specializing in buffalo chicken wings. ... So I did. And it's the most important thing I've ever done in my entire life. ... So, please, join me -- at Donald Trump's House of Wings!
[Trump gestures and four dancers, wearing goofy yellow and white chickens-popping-out-of-eggshells costumes, boogie into view and join him. They gesture energetically as they sing a parody of "Jump":]
Dancing Chickens: [sing]
Trump! You know our wings will make you happy!
Trump in! You know our wings will fill you up!
Trump! If you want a place with awesome chicken wings, yeah,
Donald Trump's House of Wings!
[The Donald, who has been dancin' like the proverbial white man in the midst of all this, claps his hands and the chickens boogie backward out of view to huge cheers and applause. An impressed Trump pauses and nods acknowledgment to the crowd before continuing:]
Donald Trump: Am I saying I'm a chicken wing expert? No. But I can tell you this -- the wing is hands down the best part of the chicken. Better than the head. Better than the torso. Better than the back! And at Donald Trump's House of Wings, you can get them with five different levels of hotness -- Regular, Hot, Three Alarm, Suicidal -- and Hell Spawn! [Each level is illustrated with a photo of Trump: "Smiling;" "Smiling but Red-Faced;" "Red-Faced and Wearing a Fireman's Helmet with Cheeks Puffed Out;" "Horned Goateed Red-Faced Devil with Cheeks Puffed Out;" and "Red-Faced with Eyes Bulging, Tongue Sticking Out and Steam Coming Out of Ears."] ... And, if you like celery, congratulations! It's on the house. ...
[Dancing chickens return. Trump claps, pumps a fist in the air and bobs in place arrhythmically.]
Dancing Chickens: [sing]
Trump! You know our wings come with free celery!
Trump in! You know these veggies are good for you!
Trump! If you want bleu cheese, there'll be a dollar extra!
Donald Trump's House of Wings!
[Trump claps his hands and the chickens boogie backward out of view, once again, to huge cheers and applause.]
Donald Trump: Donald Trump's House of Wings is hands down the best wing restaurant in New Jersey. If you don't believe me, ask my good friend, rock 'n' roll legend David Crosby.
[Synth riff fades out as white-haired, cherubic David Crosby enters with an acoustic guitar.]
David Crosby: Hey, Donny, man! When I'm not smokin' weed, firin' guns or throwing my sperm around the lesbian community ... I'm wolfin' down wings as fast as they can hack 'em off them little bastards! ...
Donald Trump: Hey, listen, listen. That wasn't in the script. You're not supposed to be talking like that. That's not right.
David Crosby: Oh, sorry, Donny, man.
Donald Trump: Take it easy.
David Crosby: Well, I call 'em like I sees 'em!
Donald Trump: Yeah, take it easy.
David Crosby: But I will say this about your place, Donald Trump.
[strums guitar, sings a slightly altered line from the 1970 Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young song, "Our House"]
His house is a very, very, very fine house --
[spoken with enthusiasm]
-- of Wings! ... Ha ha! Alrighty, I'm out of here! [pulls out a handgun and a plastic bag of marijuana] Hey, can you hold these for me? [tries to hand these to Trump]
Donald Trump: [pushes them away in disgust] I'm not gonna touch 'em. [tries to push Crosby offstage] Get out of here. Come on, get out.
David Crosby: [laughs] All right. [waves into the camera] Hey! Take it easy, Trumpy!
[Applause as David Crosby exits and the synth riff returns.]
Donald Trump: [shakes his head, disgusted with Crosby] Terrible! [continues, to camera] To all you people out there -- stop by and enjoy! And to all you chickens -- You're fry-ered! ... [looks around, shakes his head again, disgusted at the corny joke on his signature "You're fired" line] I don't like that. Come on, get the dancers back.
[Trump waves for the chickens and they return for a funky grand finale.]
Dancing Chickens: [sing]
Trump! You know our wings will make you happy!
Trump in! You know our wings will fill you up!
Trump! If you want a place with awesome chicken wings, yeah,
Donald Trump's House of Wings!
[Huge cheers and applause as we cut to the House of Wings logo and then see a map of Englewood, New Jersey with the logo -- as well as the logos of Trump's local competitors.]
Announcer V/O: Donald Trump's House of Wings -- off Route 13, right next to Al Sharpton's Casa de Sushi. If you pass Derek Jeter's Taco Hole, you've gone too far.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Please Read
Also, someone sent me this article today.
When ever anyone asks why I'm a vegetarian....these are great reasons that I speak of, but with more recent stats.
Enjoy!
Vegetarian Article: NYT
When ever anyone asks why I'm a vegetarian....these are great reasons that I speak of, but with more recent stats.
Enjoy!
Vegetarian Article: NYT
Canadian Broadcasting is where it's at
I am watching "A Civil Action" with Mat right now. Which is a very good movie.
I have spent the last two days getting into my new job at the CBC and it has been a lovely two days!
I feel like my old hardworking self again, someone who enjoys work and work hard to get the job done above and beyond. Yes, I understand that sentence is redundant, but seriously, it feels great to enjoy your job and the work environment and people around you!
More to come soon!
I have spent the last two days getting into my new job at the CBC and it has been a lovely two days!
I feel like my old hardworking self again, someone who enjoys work and work hard to get the job done above and beyond. Yes, I understand that sentence is redundant, but seriously, it feels great to enjoy your job and the work environment and people around you!
More to come soon!
Friday, January 18, 2008
Quite Possibly my favourite day!
So yesterday, I decided to note that my perfect day would consist of:
A) Passing my G driving test
B) Going to the Chiropractor and having him actually pop my ribs back into place...again
C) The CBC calling me to offer me the job that I interviewed for last monday
You wouldn't believe it, I got three out of three!
My driving test went well, and the tester was a nice old man. I hit the curb on my parallel park, but I still passed.
After calling my family and friends who had driven me around all those years when I was without a license (hard word to remember how to spell btw) I went home.
Then I came downtown, headed to the chiropractor, who is this awesome sports specialist. He treats NHL Hockey players and A.J. Burnett, as well as others. And in June he popped 3 of my ribs back into place. I've been having chest pain again, so I decided to get my life back in order and make another appointment.
It really is a great feeling when a doctor looks at you and can see that you have a problem. It validates the fact that the pain I am feeling is not inside my head, and I am actually STILL injured after all of this time off rowing!
So this time after acupuncture treatment for 15 minutes or so, he popped like 5 or 6 back into place and my scapula and my neck!
He was amazed at how many had sublexed out of place.
Anyway, I'm heading back next week to make sure they haven't moved again.
When I was on my way home, Mat called my cell to tell me that the CBC just called. So I called them back right away, and standing on Bay street next to a Canadian Tire Emergency Exit, I was offered the position to work for the CBC.
I ran home (literally) and got back on the phone so the woman could give me more details, including salary, benefits etc. etc. etc.... and AN ACTUAL CONTRACT!!!!!
So after making a second call to family and friends, and to the references that said nice things about me, Mat and I went to the gym and worked out. I had a nice run on the treadmill, and did some weights and sit ups etc.
Mat and I made a yummy dinner of salad and pasta, and went to Dairy Queen for dessert to celebrate. While at the Eaton Centre we wandered into The Bay looking for board games on sale, to add to our collection. We found a Trivial Pursuit Game that is the best of 80s, 90s and Pop Culture. It was supposed to cost $30, which is pretty good for a board game, but the woman thought we got it from the sale rack. We told her we didn't, since she told us the discounted price, she said she didn't mind giving it to us! So not only did we save 50%, but an additional 30%. The game cost less than $12.
Great day. Really an absolutely Great Day!
A) Passing my G driving test
B) Going to the Chiropractor and having him actually pop my ribs back into place...again
C) The CBC calling me to offer me the job that I interviewed for last monday
You wouldn't believe it, I got three out of three!
My driving test went well, and the tester was a nice old man. I hit the curb on my parallel park, but I still passed.
After calling my family and friends who had driven me around all those years when I was without a license (hard word to remember how to spell btw) I went home.
Then I came downtown, headed to the chiropractor, who is this awesome sports specialist. He treats NHL Hockey players and A.J. Burnett, as well as others. And in June he popped 3 of my ribs back into place. I've been having chest pain again, so I decided to get my life back in order and make another appointment.
It really is a great feeling when a doctor looks at you and can see that you have a problem. It validates the fact that the pain I am feeling is not inside my head, and I am actually STILL injured after all of this time off rowing!
So this time after acupuncture treatment for 15 minutes or so, he popped like 5 or 6 back into place and my scapula and my neck!
He was amazed at how many had sublexed out of place.
Anyway, I'm heading back next week to make sure they haven't moved again.
When I was on my way home, Mat called my cell to tell me that the CBC just called. So I called them back right away, and standing on Bay street next to a Canadian Tire Emergency Exit, I was offered the position to work for the CBC.
I ran home (literally) and got back on the phone so the woman could give me more details, including salary, benefits etc. etc. etc.... and AN ACTUAL CONTRACT!!!!!
So after making a second call to family and friends, and to the references that said nice things about me, Mat and I went to the gym and worked out. I had a nice run on the treadmill, and did some weights and sit ups etc.
Mat and I made a yummy dinner of salad and pasta, and went to Dairy Queen for dessert to celebrate. While at the Eaton Centre we wandered into The Bay looking for board games on sale, to add to our collection. We found a Trivial Pursuit Game that is the best of 80s, 90s and Pop Culture. It was supposed to cost $30, which is pretty good for a board game, but the woman thought we got it from the sale rack. We told her we didn't, since she told us the discounted price, she said she didn't mind giving it to us! So not only did we save 50%, but an additional 30%. The game cost less than $12.
Great day. Really an absolutely Great Day!
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Skating. Yes oh yes.
This morning I got up and went skating in front of city hall. It was lovely.
Although I will not be the first one to admit to loving winter, it does have its positive moments. Exhibit A being outdoor skating.
I can't wait 'till the Rideau Canal freezes over, because there is nothing like skating for 11k straight and not having to dodge falling children around turns.
On another note, Mat and I bought a Magic Bullet. I told my friend Jen and her response was to exclaim..."the vibrator?!"
Just to clarify, it was the blender, but we had a good laugh.
She is coming to visit on Friday morning which will be fun. It is weird going from living with someone for 4 years, to seeing them three times in 6 months.
Today we find out if Josh Towers is going to stay with the Jays. Although I haven't heard about anyone having any interest in him...
Although I will not be the first one to admit to loving winter, it does have its positive moments. Exhibit A being outdoor skating.
I can't wait 'till the Rideau Canal freezes over, because there is nothing like skating for 11k straight and not having to dodge falling children around turns.
On another note, Mat and I bought a Magic Bullet. I told my friend Jen and her response was to exclaim..."the vibrator?!"
Just to clarify, it was the blender, but we had a good laugh.
She is coming to visit on Friday morning which will be fun. It is weird going from living with someone for 4 years, to seeing them three times in 6 months.
Today we find out if Josh Towers is going to stay with the Jays. Although I haven't heard about anyone having any interest in him...
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Question: what do you want to know?
My mom asked me a weird question, just a few minutes ago, but a question worth asking.
What do you want to know?
Not necessarily about a person, but about a place or a thing or anything really!
What do you want to know? What do you want to learn about?
Do you want to know how to do something, or why something is a certain way.
The only thing that I could think of is, I want to know what my life will be like in 5 years? I want to know where to find me dream job, and what that job is.... well I think I know what my dream job is, but how to get it, would be great.
What do you want to know???
What do you want to know?
Not necessarily about a person, but about a place or a thing or anything really!
What do you want to know? What do you want to learn about?
Do you want to know how to do something, or why something is a certain way.
The only thing that I could think of is, I want to know what my life will be like in 5 years? I want to know where to find me dream job, and what that job is.... well I think I know what my dream job is, but how to get it, would be great.
What do you want to know???
Saturday, November 24, 2007
A month later
Wow.
It amazes me that it has been a whole month. I guess that is what happens when you travel for work and are busy catching up with friends and family and baseball when you get back :-)
So the world series was a straight win, and although it upset me, I was secretly happy because I only missed one game. Otherwise I would have missed all of them while in Santa Monica.
It was a much better trip than France. I had the Everclear song in my head the entire time, and by the end of the trip I ran onto the beach and stuck my feet in the ocean. So cliche, but hey, who cares!
The holidays are upon us, which means that I have been blogging for a year! Well not really considering I took a huge hiatus in 2006, but technically it's been a year. I do like the holiday season, I like the lights and no matter how many people complain about the commercialism of Christmas, I frankly couldn't care less. Let people buy gifts if they want to! The only complaint I have is the sudden cold weather that comes with the season.
Yesterday Mat and I saw the film ENCHANTED. Disney has been having problems over the last few years putting out quality animated films- releasing such hits as The Lion King 2 and 3, etc.
Other than High School Music (which I have not, nor care to see) nothing much else has been keeping them a float in the film world. Until NOW.
This movie was hilarious. It was feel good, satirical, laugh out loud goodness. Yesterday was the opening night. We went to the 9:50pm show and it was completely packed...not by children, but all adults. We are talking every age here! There was almost as much laughter from the audience as there was when I went to see Superbad. The film starts off animated, painting a soon to be princess and her price falling in love at first sight and planning a wedding for the following day. The Prince's wicked stepmother casts the princess into New York city, as she doesn't want to lose her crown to the princess, and the film continues from there with real actors.
The classic character portrayals include a bumbling hentchman who serves the wicked stepmother of the prince as well as a sidekick chipmunk who helps the Prince throughout his journey to rescue his princess in the REAL WORLD. Amy Adams does an incredible job of bringing a naive and overly caring animated character to life, and James Marsden who plays the prince, is just as humourous. I won't give away the plot, because you should all see it.
Bottom line is Disney Did Good.
On a more somber note, Joe Kennedy died yesterday. He was a player that the Jays acquired in August, but didn't sign for next season. He was 28 and had a daughter and a wife. It's quite sad that he died so young and so suddenly. When stuff like this happens, it really should make you value your own life, and the lives of your loved ones, but somehow, the reality check only lasts for so long.
It amazes me that it has been a whole month. I guess that is what happens when you travel for work and are busy catching up with friends and family and baseball when you get back :-)
So the world series was a straight win, and although it upset me, I was secretly happy because I only missed one game. Otherwise I would have missed all of them while in Santa Monica.
It was a much better trip than France. I had the Everclear song in my head the entire time, and by the end of the trip I ran onto the beach and stuck my feet in the ocean. So cliche, but hey, who cares!
The holidays are upon us, which means that I have been blogging for a year! Well not really considering I took a huge hiatus in 2006, but technically it's been a year. I do like the holiday season, I like the lights and no matter how many people complain about the commercialism of Christmas, I frankly couldn't care less. Let people buy gifts if they want to! The only complaint I have is the sudden cold weather that comes with the season.
Yesterday Mat and I saw the film ENCHANTED. Disney has been having problems over the last few years putting out quality animated films- releasing such hits as The Lion King 2 and 3, etc.
Other than High School Music (which I have not, nor care to see) nothing much else has been keeping them a float in the film world. Until NOW.
This movie was hilarious. It was feel good, satirical, laugh out loud goodness. Yesterday was the opening night. We went to the 9:50pm show and it was completely packed...not by children, but all adults. We are talking every age here! There was almost as much laughter from the audience as there was when I went to see Superbad. The film starts off animated, painting a soon to be princess and her price falling in love at first sight and planning a wedding for the following day. The Prince's wicked stepmother casts the princess into New York city, as she doesn't want to lose her crown to the princess, and the film continues from there with real actors.
The classic character portrayals include a bumbling hentchman who serves the wicked stepmother of the prince as well as a sidekick chipmunk who helps the Prince throughout his journey to rescue his princess in the REAL WORLD. Amy Adams does an incredible job of bringing a naive and overly caring animated character to life, and James Marsden who plays the prince, is just as humourous. I won't give away the plot, because you should all see it.
Bottom line is Disney Did Good.
On a more somber note, Joe Kennedy died yesterday. He was a player that the Jays acquired in August, but didn't sign for next season. He was 28 and had a daughter and a wife. It's quite sad that he died so young and so suddenly. When stuff like this happens, it really should make you value your own life, and the lives of your loved ones, but somehow, the reality check only lasts for so long.
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